We would like to invite you to a small experiment:
Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Set a timer for 20 minutes and put your phone on airplane mode. Now write down seven experiences you still want to have. Important: These aren't career goals; they're things that aren't essential for survival, but are worth living for.

Do you have seven (it could also be three or thirty)? That's your "bucket list".

The term comes from English – «to kick the bucket» means to kick the bucket – so a bucket list is a list of goals we want to achieve before we die.

Now comes the difficult part: When will you make time for these goals?

Zurich psychologist Alexandra Freund coined the term "bucket list effect": In middle age, between 30 and 60, we are so busy juggling family and career that we are simply too exhausted to take care of our bucket list. We have neither the time nor the energy for leisure. We only do what is essential for survival and neglect what makes life worth living.

We postpone the goals on the bucket list. In psychology, this is called goal shelving , putting things on the back burner.

The two predominant thoughts in middle age:
1. "I would like to...but I'm too exhausted."
2. “I would like to… but I don’t have time for that.”

We believe that later we'll have more time and be less exhausted. Later means when the children have left home or things have calmed down at work. We sometimes postpone enjoyable experiences for so long that we might not even want them anymore. For example, if you're longing for a trip, you could keep postponing your plans until you've saved enough money to afford a luxury vacation. By the time you have the money, the desire to explore new places might have faded; the moment might have passed. Perhaps it would have been better to seize it when it was there.

The problem, Freund explained to us, lies in the fact that we live in a culture of delayed gratification . We learn early on as children to postpone the good things. Work first, then pleasure. This is, of course, an important skill; otherwise, we'd just be eating marshmallows and watching TikTok all the time. On the other hand, why always save the sweets for last? Sure, if you take it to extremes and only eat dessert, that's not healthy, but this fanatical joylessness isn't either. Freund: "It's important to understand that life doesn't begin sometime later, but rather the here and now—that is our life. In a very basic way, life is always only now."

This is most evident in friendships. Many people tell themselves: "I'd like to spend more time with friends later." That won't work, because if you don't do it now, you won't have any later.